How to approach the conversation about wedding costs with the Grooms family

How to Talk to the Groom’s Family About Their Financial Obligations

It's no secret: Having the money conversation with your own family can be challenging. Who wants to put a damper on the fun of wedding planning by focusing on costs? However, it can be even more intimidating to have that conversation with your fiancé's family, especially if you don't know them that well or you aren't sure of their financial situation. Some brides don’t like to mention to the groom’s family what their expenses are if the groom’s family doesn’t ask them. Yet others take a more direct approach. Others are comfortable sharing with the groom’s family what they are expected to pay for.

If you find it too uncomfortable to have that conversation, consider outsourcing it to your wedding planner. Most planners are well versed at having this conversation without being to rigid and can prompt questions about who's responsible for covering the cost for certain parts of the celebration.

What Happens If the Groom's Family Is Unable to Contribute

Whatever you do, be sure to consider the financial situations of each of your families. Simply put: No one is required to contribute anything to a wedding. If the groom's family is unable or unwilling to help pay for the celebration, you and your partner should determine the best course of action for funding your nuptials.

Here at Legacy At Serenity Farms, We've had several weddings where the bride’s family has had to cover the rehearsal dinner and other traditional groom’s expenses. And even if the groom's family can't contribute monetarily, that doesn't mean they can't help out with your special day. They may be able to assist with getting ready, help organize guests, or even tackle some DIY projects.

What are the customary expenses for the brides family

Historically, the bride's family is responsible for most of the fees associated with the nuptials. This often includes everything from the wedding planner to vendor costs. The family may also be expected to cover some pre-wedding parties or celebrations. Décor, wedding guest favors, and bridesmaid's gifts are just a few of the things to consider when planning the wedding budget.

Bride's family traditionally pays for 

• Engagement party: The engagement party and other pre-wedding parties

• Ceremony and reception: The ceremony and reception venue, including floral arrangements and décor, wedding guest favors

• Bridesmaid's gifts

• Wedding dress: The bride's dress, veil, and accessories

• Invitations: Invitations, save-the-dates, and other stationery

• Photography and videography: Wedding photos and videos

• Transportation: Transportation for bridesmaids and guest transportation

• Food and drink: The wedding cake and morning-after brunch

What are the customary expenses for the grooms family

The monetary role of the groom's family on (and before) the big day is a bit more complicated. Typically, they're expected to fund the marriage license, rehearsal dinner, and honeymoon for the newlyweds. However, there are also smaller traditions and expenses that the groom's family is expected to cover?

Rehearsal Dinner which includes:

• The Rehearsal Dinner Venue

• Food and Drink

• Entertainment

• Transportation

The Wedding Day which includes:

• The brides bouquet

• The brides wedding ring

• The grooms wedding attire

•  Flowers for the mothers and grandmothers

• Boutonnieres

• Gifts for the groomsmen

• The officiant

• The honeymoon (at least part of the expenses such as travel, hotel, excursions)

• Part of the alcohol/bar expenses

There are so many ways to split the cost of your big day but it all starts with a conversation and everyone researching what you're responsibilities are to helping pull off the perfect wedding!! Working together definitely takes the financial burden off of one family and gets the new blended family started off on the right foot. Don't be afraid to speak up. Chances are the grooms family is afraid of overstepping and appreciate your direction and input.

Thank you to our local wedding venues that help to support us:

Triple T Farm

The Barn at Poplar Springs Farm

Legacy Farms TN

Sunnyside Farm

The Bella Sera